Most of my thoughts come to me while I’m in the shower. And
it was then, as soon as I finished praying, that the thought entered. In that
moment, I realized that someone failed to acknowledge a significant day in my
life. That’s when the thought process began. How could he have forgotten? I
guess we’re not important to him. Why did you expect him to remember? He hasn’t
been consistent with special moments anyway for as long as you can remember.
You’ve always given him the benefit of the doubt, so what’s different today? There
was a moment that we shared over 10 years ago that made this occasion that much
more significant. Didn’t he remember that?
I am required to forgive the person who has hurt me over and over again. No, the forgiveness doesn’t excuse his behavior but it does free me. I now have a choice to remain silent about my feelings or to speak up and clearly communicate my expectations for this important relationship to function properly. By me taking the first step to forgive, I am preventing his behavior from destroying my heart. In other words, I am covering myself so that my heart does not become hardened but instead is filled with enough love and tenderness to love others.
The thoughts continued to flood my mind and eventually began
to put a damper on my spirit. I tried to shake it off but I couldn’t. Before I
knew it, the tears were streaming down my face and for the first few minutes, I
couldn’t control or stop them. I began recounting the number of more recent
incidents where I was left feeling insignificant and unloved.
Then I picked up Tony Evans’ Horizontal Jesus and was reminded that I need to give away the
thing that I need the most. At this point in my life, I need love. In order for
me to receive an overabundance of love as promised in Luke 6:38, I must first
love others. I then realized that in order for me to truly love others with my
whole heart, I could not be bogged down and burdened by un-forgiveness. I am required to forgive the person who has hurt me over and over again. No, the forgiveness doesn’t excuse his behavior but it does free me. I now have a choice to remain silent about my feelings or to speak up and clearly communicate my expectations for this important relationship to function properly. By me taking the first step to forgive, I am preventing his behavior from destroying my heart. In other words, I am covering myself so that my heart does not become hardened but instead is filled with enough love and tenderness to love others.
When is the last time you found yourself hurt by a loved
one? Someone close to you disappointed you? Have you forgiven them? Remember,
forgiveness is not about them, it’s all about you! You deserve to experience the
freedom that forgiveness brings.
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