Today was one of the roughest days I've had over the last five (5) years at work. If you work in a place where they don't value your existence but they expect you to perform to the top of their expectations is very difficult.
Now don't get it twisted, I haven't always felt like I wasn't valued but when I opened my eyes 👀 and now I realize I am not just a supervisor but an asset to the squad even though I am not an asset to the team. It sounds kinda wanky so let me explain; my squad are people I directly have access to and can either pour into or drawl out of experiences. The team is the mother agency. "The White House" - they have their own world order but have failed to deliver the expectations to the workers.
You can't have a business and expect to have a quality product but don't have clear expectations MADE KNOW but in the same breath want to hold them accountable for those uncommunicated expectations.
You MUST be able to measure success or you just spin wheels and go no where. It's kind of like being stuck in a mud pit and you continuously mash the gas pedal hoping to get out. If you never get out of the vehicle and look for something to leverage under the wheel(s) to serve a base to grab onto so you can get out; You'll remain STUCK.
When you get to a point when you have LOST the drive and spinning your wheels in the mud pit brings more joy, it's time to "Get Out". I've moved through the system and put myself in a position to argue/fight for/and make decisions for my squad. In order to be successful you have to build RELATIONSHIPS and not the relationship you only nurture when you NEED something but the kind you check on, Just Because. You have to genuinely want to know how their life is to determine if you need to give them more time off, more one on one time, need to back off being pushy, reengineer the end game so they don't get stressed trying to get your end result (jedi mind trick).
You can't be afraid of YOURSELF. I believe being afraid of yourself creates FEARFULNESS in your actions. The only opponent you face everyday is YOU. The outside world doesn't tell You that You suck and won't succeed; YOU tell you you aren't enough (good or worthy). We have a great media influence out there DAILY. We see others "Doing It" and think they are superior (YES YOU DO; WE ALL DO IT Damn It). You can't expect to hit the Power Ball if you've never gone to the store and purchase a ticket. If you want to be successful you need to KNOW you are already a success because you are HERE right now reading this. You have to be grateful for what you have and stop being envious of your neighbor (Yes you have and may still ENVY your neighbor for the stuff they have that you want but are afraid to Go After.
Who do you look up to? Who is your roll model. Does the "social norm" bore the heck out of you? What will you or are willing to do so you are not Bored As Heck. Don't get sucked up into the 'You are Lesser Than Them' mentality. If your black, white privilege, isn't an excuse. My question to you is "what are you going to do about it?" I'm on a plane in the B seat (for those who have NEVER flown before that's the damn middle seat) and I'm in between two middle aged (28-36) white males who feel they can spread their legs open and limit my space. So what does the old me do PUSH back. The right now me sits in firm position with firm body language (no words) to let them know I Am Here. We have no problems until it is tried again. You need to have confidence In YOURSELF.
I Am Great and the fact I am sitting on a plane ✈️ headed to Portland in a situation that sucks and I feel like I am/we are all alone makes me believe I still care about the positive outcome but it doesn't change "what is IMPORTANT right now wasn't IMPORTANT when it needed to be" and Instead of the proactive phase of this journey we are operating off the defensive. Forget your Defensive - pass the buck - self. In a relationship you won't leave your partner out in the wind to blow away. Understand this News Flash "No One Cares about you Like YOU care about you."
What decision(s) will you make today to make sure your tomorrow will be better? It's been Well over due to demand respect ✊ but in a respectful manner. It may not be beneficial for them but it has to be BENEFICIAL for you.