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Showing posts from 2020

Strength & Courage

"God sees you!"
This is what I would tell my younger self. Many times, I have seen posts and inquiries about writing a letter to my younger self. Each time I wondered what I would say. I felt silenced and confused and could not come up with anything to share. Then one day, it hit me. I After years of feeling invisible, I am beginning to experience the truth of who I am. I am beginning to see that I was created and purposed for something greater than what I can even imagine.
Why did it take so long?! I have yet to understand that. However, I am glad for the revelation. 
It was in my moments of invisibility that I was searching for a light that was already there. I was Lost. Reckless. Impulsive. I made many decisions that were contrary to what God desired of me. I was going in circles and ending up in the same place over and over again. I was allowing fear to seep in and to take over my mind. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection Fear of success. Just overall fear.
But no longer.
My i…

Rescued After Enough

Tossing and turning all night makes for a hectic day when the sun arises.
I have experienced this day too many times. One would think I would get the point by now. For me this happens because I am subconsciously processing out how to make something happen. I lose sleep when I try to substitute my own judgment for that of the One who created me. I have been getting in my own way and it is time for me to stop. I have gotten in my own way within my relationships. I have caused some relationships to end prematurely. I let go of some relationships too quickly. I allowed my mind and my emotions to take over. Most recently, I have gotten in my own way within my finances. I was looking for ways of making quick money .... and lots of it. Why? Just because. I realized I was getting in my own way because I began to compromise myself. I began to become mentally drained trying to figure out how to make this extra money.
The question is: was it in God's plan for me to earn this extra money in thi…

Tap In

It broke my heart when she decided not to speak to me for as long as she did. But I survived. With each passing day, I got up and I kept going forward. I focused on the road ahead rather than the lack of support I received. I focused on my need to find my own and my own voice. I focused on the need to please myself rather than others. I focused on what my mind and heart spoke to me rather than what others spoke into me. 
I understand that the decision I made was the right decision for me. Was it an acceptable decision within my family construct? No. Was it the popular decision within my community? No. Yet, it was my life that was impacted by my decision and, therefore, it was my decision to me. My decision alone. It was a decision that I had to accept. One that I had to live with. One that I had to embrace. It was a decision that helped to shape me into the woman I am today. It was a decision that created the immediate family structure that I have today. It was a decision that equip…

Cross the Read Sea

I felt stuck!I could not breathe in the situation I was in. I dreaded going to work. I would sit in my car for at least 20 minutes each day before I walked into the office. I felt micro-managed. I felt devalued. I felt unappreciated. I felt belittled. There were days when I would sit at my desk crying because I wanted out. It was a miserable feeling that last for months.  I applied for other opportunities and for the first time ever, no doors opened. None of the positions I applied for became available to me. I wondered how such a loving God could allow me to feel so stuck. To feel like there was no where for me to go. No place for me to move forward to. I was poached from a position I was I had been in, reportedly because I was doing well in the position. That was good, right? I began to think it was a bad move. I began to think that my steps forward were not actually steps forward. I wanted to turn back but that was not an option. I felt stuck.I felt like the Israelites as they appr…

Connected & Committed

If a cop would have been behind me, I would have gotten stopped.I was not speeding but I was definitely jumping from lane to lane. I was headed to see a client on my way to pick up the twins from school. I was on a road where there is some construction taking place, causing a detour. As I was coming off of the detour and back onto the main road, I turned into the lane closest to me. As I should, right?! As the I was following another car up a small hill, I felt like the other car was driving too slowly. I quickly jumped into the right lane as I was reaching the top of the hill. Then, guess what I saw. Now that I could see the other side of the hill, I found myself behind a city bus. Not where I wanted to be. I don't like riding behind large vehicles. And when I am rushing, I especially do not enjoy riding behind buses. Ultimately, I ended up in the left lane, right where I started. If only I could have seen the other side of that hill!This immediately reminded me so much of life. …

Sight Unseen

"Are you sure about this?"My husband and I heard this question over and over as we made our final preparations to relocate from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania to Tallahassee, Florida. This journey was fourteen years ago when my oldest daughter was five years ago and the youngest daughters were nine months old. We were headed to a new city with no family and no friends. We did not know ANYONE. We were going to be hundreds of miles from everything and everyone we knew. We were unmarried and had three small children. We barely had a place to stay and our income was slashed to less than half.But we had the ONE thing that mattered. Sure, we had each other and yes, that was important. But we had something better than that. We had FAITH. We were living and believing 2 Corinthians 5:7 that says, "For we live by faith, not by sight."We could not see what was immediately in front of us. When we left Philadelphia, we had no idea where we would live. We had no idea if we would be …

Light

I'm a sap for a good love story!
My favorite channel is Hallmark. There's always a love story to be seen there. Well, I changed it up a little and decided to revisit the movie "I'm in Love with a Church Girl." I loved watching how opposites attract. When two people with different backgrounds fell in love, they began to shape each others lives. The things that were bitter began to shed and the things that were fruitful began to grow. A past of bad decisions was erased and a future of light became reality.
I realize that this is what happens in our walk with Christ. When we decide to commit ourselves and our ways to something bigger than ourselves, then the world truly becomes our oyster. This movie was a gentle reminder that no matter what our current circumstances look like, they do not necessarily dictate our future. That's good news.
There is a good feeling knowing that there are angels of light surrounding us when we are in our darkest moments. There are a…

Independence to Reliability

I was most definitely an Independent Woman.
Or at least I thought I was. LOL. When I first met my husband, I was one of those women with a J.O.B. You couldn't tell me anything. I was taking care of myself. I had my own car, my own money, and my own stuff. I also had a daughter and was living at home with my mom. Yet, I was handling my business. I was a fresh 22-year old, living life to the fullest. I was not looking for anyone to come take care of me. I was not looking for anyone to sweep me off my feet. I was not looking for someone to make a life with. I was just living my life on my terms and enjoying every bit of it.
This reminds me of the movie 'I Can Do Bad All By Myself'. Before the main character's grandmother passed away, she was living her life to the fullest and on her own terms. She did not have any attachments. Before she knew it, everything changed. It was a difficult transition and a challenge, but she began caring for three children and invited a male f…

Kool-Aid

"In West Philadelphia born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days." I smile every time I think about the neighborhood where I grew up. Although it was not always a happy place to be, there are so many memories. Memories, both good and bad, of the those things that shaped the person I am today. I'm reminded that no matter what path we choose in life, we can not forsake the humble beginnings.

One of the happiest memories I have is going around to my friend's house on a regular basis. Let me know tell you why. Her mom made the BEST pitcher of Kool-Aid. EVER. Yes, there is definitely a right way and a wrong way to make Kool-Aid. This particular person knew the right way. She used the right number of packets and the perfect amount of sugar. She knew just how to get that Kool-Aid smile to show up every time someone took a sip.

Do you remember that Kool-Aid smile?

It's the kind of smile that is big and bright. It is  magnetizing. When you see tha…

The Equalizer

I thought the pain was unbearable. I could not think clearly. My mind was scrambled. I could not breathe. The tears were flowing from my eyes. I wanted to give up. I wanted to throw in the towel. It started with a broken heart. Then it extended to physical pain. A migraine. Anxiety. Back pains. Chest pains.

This emotional and physical pain transferred into anger. I wanted the pain to end. I wanted to take back everything that was taken from me. I wanted revenge. I wanted the perpetrator to pay.

Then it happened. The thoughts went away. The pain became bearable.

How we handle the pain we experience is up to us. A line from the movie "There are two kinds of pain in this world, pain that hurts and pain that alters."

Drop a comment and let me know how pain has been equalized in your life.

Our Anchor

The theme of "the family" flows throughout the Fast & Furious film series. Have you ever noticed that God can use the little things to shape our minds and our focus. Even while watching this film described to be "largely concerned with illegal street racing, heists, and spies" there are underlying lessons to be gleaned.
Many of us know that the number seven (7) symbolizes completion. We even see this in Furious 7, as Vin Diesel (Toretto) is having a conversation with Paul Walker (Brian) and says "One last ride!". In this film, one of the main characters embraces a change in his life. A change that requires a sacrifice. A change that requires letting go. You see, when we begin to shift our position in life, some of the things we used to do will no longer serve us and we will have to let them go. A new position will sometimes require us to find Our Anchor and lock it in.

When we are anchored in the right things, that anchor creates a rock solid hold. Whe…

Our Father

June is the month of the MAN.
One of my husband's favorite movie series is Fast & Furious. The movie is so action packed, yet is also thought provoking at the same time. There is lots of comedy mixed into a dramatic theme. Throughout this month, I will be dissecting various aspects of this movie as homage to the men in my life. Follow the journey with me.
There is no surprise that as we were watching the Fast & Furious 8, I was drawn into the idea of family. In this season of uncertainty, this is the prime time for a new beginning. The prime time for families to come back together. Regardless of what has come in to tear the family apart, to destroy the bond, this is the season to make an uncommon move and return back to the thing that matters the most.

Watching the Fast & Furious 8 made me think of the role of the men in our lives and their involvement within our families. Men serve as protectors, supporters, providers, security blankets, and even gap builders. These ea…