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Showing posts from September, 2020

Rescued After Enough

Tossing and turning all night makes for a hectic day when the sun arises. I have experienced this day too many times. One would think I would get the point by now. For me this happens because I am subconsciously processing out how to make something happen. I lose sleep when I try to substitute my own judgment for that of the One who created me. I have been getting in my own way and it is time for me to stop. I have gotten in my own way within my relationships. I have caused some relationships to end prematurely. I let go of some relationships too quickly. I allowed my mind and my emotions to take over. Most recently, I have gotten in my own way within my finances. I was looking for ways of making quick money .... and lots of it. Why? Just because. I realized I was getting in my own way because I began to compromise myself. I began to become mentally drained trying to figure out how to make this extra money. The question is: was it in God's plan for me to earn this extra money in t

Tap In

It broke my heart when she decided not to speak to me for as long as she did. But I survived. With each passing day, I got up and I kept going forward. I focused on the road ahead rather than the lack of support I received. I focused on my need to find my own and my own voice. I focused on the need to please myself rather than others. I focused on what my mind and heart spoke to me rather than what others spoke into me.  I understand that the decision I made was the right decision for me. Was it an acceptable decision within my family construct? No. Was it the popular decision within my community? No. Yet, it was my life that was impacted by my decision and, therefore, it was my decision to me. My decision alone. It was a decision that I had to accept. One that I had to live with. One that I had to embrace. It was a decision that helped to shape me into the woman I am today. It was a decision that created the immediate family structure that I have today. It was a decision that equipp

Cross the Read Sea

I felt stuck! I could not breathe in the situation I was in. I dreaded going to work. I would sit in my car for at least 20 minutes each day before I walked into the office. I felt micro-managed. I felt devalued. I felt unappreciated. I felt belittled. There were days when I would sit at my desk crying because I wanted out. It was a miserable feeling that last for months.   I applied for other opportunities and for the first time ever, no doors opened. None of the positions I applied for became available to me. I wondered how such a loving God could allow me to feel so stuck. To feel like there was no where for me to go. No place for me to move forward to. I was poached from a position I was I had been in, reportedly because I was doing well in the position. That was good, right? I began to think it was a bad move. I began to think that my steps forward were not actually steps forward. I wanted to turn back but that was not an option. I felt stuck. I felt like the Israelites as they ap